DISCLAIMER
ALL THE CHARACTERS AND INCIDENTS IN THIS POST ARE EITHER TRUE OR BASED ON TRUTH. ANY RESEMBLENCE TO PERSONS LIVING OR DEAD IS PURELY INTENTIONAL
I was thinking about this today march 30, 2009 after a brief brush with Jeseena at the NCC grounds. So I decided to post my rather vague thoughts here.
Okay first I’ll be honest with this. I’m a normal Indian, so I’m crazy about this stupid sport, though, half the time I don’t understand how it works (silly point, mid point blah, blah, blah…and what is Power play by the way? They play powerfully only during the power play is it?) And I like Sachin Tendulkar, the great cricketing genius apart from all the others, even though I don’t know half their names. People may talk about Sir Donald Bradman, Sir Vivian Richards and others with or without a ‘Sir’ prefixing their names and even the master blaster is Bradman’s fan it seems. Whatever! But for me, cricket is my religion and Sachin the God. Yes, I love Dhoni too and all the others, right from Javagal Sreenath to the nobody who joined the team a week or so ago. I just can’t hate any cricketer but I’ve had these silly quarrels and frustrations regarding them.
I’ll write about the four cricketers who kept my teenage…well, lively.
The thing is, I guess, I –the silent, innocent, calm, goody-goody girl, am provoked by some stupid fans or a\c’s. It’s one thing liking Chow Chow Ganguly, but how can they say that, that rasagulla gulping stupid prince of Kolkatta is a better cricketer than Sachin? The ‘war’ between us the die hard Sachin Tendulkar fans and Sourav Ganguly’s fans was at its peak during my 10th standard.
I still remember those days. I had just started talking that my classmates said that they had finally got to hear my voice and, believe it or not, I was still sincere in learning – I mean, I actually loved learning. Students appearing for board exams are allowed to sit anywhere around the classroom and learn. So I always chose the pillar outside the classroom because that particular spot is visible from three of the five staff rooms which would be a strong factor against my urge to watch the volleyball and throw ball practices. (Heart attacks anyone?) And always that’s where this bully gang of Ganguly fans comes to confront me. They’d say that Sachin lives in past glory, Sachin is stuck to hospitals, Sachin is not handsome, and Sachin is not consistent. And… Ganguly is handsome (excuse me?!!?!!), Ganguly is the captain; Ganguly is healthy and so on. And I’d be thinking, ‘Captain? My foot! He scored less than the 12th man of the team did okay?’
If India went to the 2003 WC finals it’s because of enga thalaivar’s explosive centuries okay? And anyone who’s sitting idle won’t be hurt enough to go to a doctor. Duh! Of course his wife Dona is chaaaaaaaaaaaarming and his daughter Sana is cuuuuute and his house is biiiiiiiiig but that doesn’t mean you can say that Rasagulla Gulper is greater than the Master Blaster.
Forget cold wars. Do you know which is more exasperating than that? Listening to the love lorn fans’ gibberish. Jam Dabba Dravid is a superb player, The Wall, plays for the team than himself, very sincere – yeah, whatever, and yes I’m happy that he’s ethnically Tamilian. But his fans! Gosh! They are just impossible! He was already 30 when obviously worried Flowery Autumn (O.K I tried to be funny. I meant Jammy’s mommy and daddy) decided to get him married to Dr. Vijeta Pandarkar. I don’t know how she looks or anything else but I, a non-Dravid fan, love her. (C’mon yaar! She’s a cricketer’s wife! How can I not like her?) So when he gets married you’re happy for him, congratulate him through a fan club or something but do you curse him, especially if you had been his hard core fan? Sneha did. You should’ve seen her crying and tearing his blow ups and the album full of ‘Dravid’ian stuff she’s been collecting. Guess what she said? “I was in love with him, I prayed he should play well, I bunked school to watch him play and he marries a stupid doctor from Nagpur?” I was like ,” what?! Hello, he won’t even be aware that you exist!”
This started in my 9th std actually. Look, I love milk okay? I dunno why but I just love milk, curd, lassi, butter I mean I love everything milk. But almost the whole of my class hates milk. Every lunch hour thay come to me and say, ‘you realy like milk? YUCK!” Bust it! I mean, you hate milk? Fine, but I looove milk okay? I almost forgot the incident when three of my friends came to my pillar in 10th std. We were talking about filmi gossip and cricket *surprise*surprise* when suddenly Shammu said, ‘I want to drink milk now’. I was like ‘what?you?milk?’ and Suppu and R said, ‘Me toooooo’
I was sure I had gone mad. I mean these three liking milk? And suddenly Shammu blurts out, ‘No wonder Viru(excuse me?) is soooo handsome (coff, coff) Then they started talking about ‘Viru’ the great. Sehwag should thank his lucky stars that he was not near me then. God, I hate ‘em.
Everything was over when I came to college. Atlest that’s what I thought.
I have no idea how or when Zoo-Abscond-Singh Dhoni came into the picture. I was not much impressed by his 183 and was busy with +2 andcollege admission. Also I had tpld myself that I’m a grown up and should act like one. And my cousin Sudev and Jeseena started ooooDhooooni oooo – ing. And my headache started. Again.
I just have one thing to say, ‘LEAVE ME ALONE, DUDE’
